day off

so i called in sick today even though at the time i didnt feel quite sick enough at the time because 1. i was getting progressively worse 2. i have to memorize a part in a 30 min play by wednesday 3. i have been so tired lately that i cant sleep. so as i lie here sneezing coughing and alternating between grabbing a warm blanket to cover up with and throwing it off in a desperate need to cool down i have to wonder. will i actually be able to sleep tonight knowing that my best friend is working her butt off without me. and i honestly must say that wont be what keeps me awake. i feel no remorse for calling in, yes i feel bad for brooke having to work on a busy night but im so sick of the crap in my life from school, work, church and family that i dont care. they can get along without me for one night if i can work for them for minimum wage and no gratitude for a year and 4 months. oddly enough when i really think about it i cant leave the people there, well some of them. i love some of them, like others, dont like some and hate a couple but i just cant imagine leaving the ones i like. GRRR why do people have to be so likeable that they can keep you at a job you hate.

fatigue

im so tired right now. last night i got approximately 8 hours of sleep, i got two more this afternoon and still i have been wanting to go to bed for about an hour and a half. why havent i gone to bed? because i started watching an episode of house, so why an hour and a half? because the cop got sick and then foreman got sick and at the end of the episode the cop died but foreman was still sick so of course i had to watch the next episode. and now i cant go to bed even though te episode is over because i have to fine out if the next episode tells us why foreman doesnt know left from right. but the next episode just started and its not the next episode chronologically so who knows why he couldnt tell left from right, but im already hooked on this episode because all the people who got transplants from one donor are all dying. if you followed all that, way to be, thats pretty impressive. so basically im really tired but cant go to bed because house is amazing. must watch whole episode!!! must go to bed. NOPE eye transplant lady is hallucinating about house killing her, watching the episode wins. once again if this made sense to you, way to be.

im so tired...

i could eat a horse...no wait that didnt come out right. if i could get just one looong night of restful sleep that would be great. the past 5 nights i have gotten 4, 3, 2, 9, and 6 hours of sleep. of course the nine hour night was nice but because of the 'sleep debt' from the nights before it wasnt very restful. thank you psychology for all the useful information on why im tired. and thank you life for ruining my natural sleep cycle. particularly work i think we have established that i dont like my job but for whatever reason im not sure i could just up and leave even if i had another job offer. probably the people, like my best friend and my other best friends. but not half my managers or the girl who has a creepy crush on me. anyhoo! im tired.

I QUIT!!!!

ok not really but i wish i did, i wish i could. i work at a theater in case you didnt already know and after 1 year and 4 months my job is driving me crazy. when i was hired minimum wage was 5.85 and i was making 6.50, then minimum wage went up to 6.55 and they said they would make up the difference and we would be making 7.20, so guess what i make? 7.20? no that would make sense, i make 6.55. but the shift leaders who previously made 7.00 got to keep that wage for a while then later got raises to 7.25. while the rest of us got minimum wage. plus none of the shift leaders have been there as long as me and one of them has no idea what he is doing. one knows what to do but doesnt and the other is actually good at it. working in box office is kinda like a mini promotion there is no raise but there is a certain amount of importance to it so only certain people get to be trained to work in there. so when they were looking to train more people to put in there they asked all the shift leaders who they would pick. all four of the shift leaders at the time included me, so did i get it? nope. plus the scheduling manager cant keep track of my three simple requests: no sundays, no wednesdays and no opening on saturdays. I have been opening almost every saturday since i made that request and have been scheduled several wednesdays and a couple sundays, really? the worst part though is when i get scheduled to close on a friday night and open on a saturday morning. while there is usually a gap of 9.5-10 hours between those shifts it takes me an hour after i get home to wind down, and i have trouble sleeping so it takes anywhere from 1-3 hours for me to fall asleep which leaves me at the most 7 hours to actually sleep before i have to get up and get ready again. and during a school week that just doesnt cut it for weekend recouperation. so basically if i dont get the shift leader position this time around im gonna start looking for a new job where after nearly a year and a half i wouldnt be working in the same area everyday for minimum wage getting bossed around by people who have been there half as long as me. just had to vent. and since i have to open tomorrow i better go to bed so i can maybe get those 7 hours!!

it was bound to happen

anyone who knows me knows that i love animals so it was bound to happen, i am writing a blog about them, i could write several (and i probably will) this one happens to be depressing, sorry but its true. people are stupid. if you buy an animal it becomes your responsibility to care for it! if you cant or decide you dont want to then take it to a shelter or give it to someone else who will care for it! any animal is a life and any life is worth caring for. letting an illness or injury go untreated for any reason is so wrong. letting your pet suffer, or even die from something like dehydration or starvation is just sick. beating or confining them to a small space is diturbing. training, and forcing animals to fight is probably the sickest form of abuse. not only does it mutilate and even kill innocent animals, it can affect loving caring owners. pitbulls are the most common fight dogs giving them a horrible reputation of being vicious, aggressive dogs. they arent. they have strong jaws and strong wills to please their owners, making them a dogfighters breed of choice. they can be really sweet dogs just like any other breed, its all in the breeding and training. but because this great breed is so popular in dogfighting rings several cities have banned the breed resulting in several hundreds of responsible owners having to give up their beloved pet either to a person living elsewhere or to authorities to be euthanised. IF YOU CANT BE A RESPONSIBLE OWNER YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE A PET.


just had to vent about that sorry if it got you down or anything but people piss me off sometimes so i have to vent.

reality called

and like an idiot i answered. so i was texting one of my amazing friends by the name of cyrus and he mentioned something about school. thats when reality hit me like a speeding school bus. two weeks after i go back to school from break second semester of my senior year starts. i have soooo much to do i think i might go more insane than i already am. pretty much got a ton of community and family service hours to complete and turn in, and two apprenticeships to wrap up and write papers about. not to mention my classes. can i just cry right now? no, there is no crying in baseball!!! (i dont play baseball but it fit) i gotta start managing my time better....sigh responsibility sucks, as does my lame school.

best friends

My three best friends

Nick!!! I dont think i would be the same without you nicholas. from dancing at prom to depressing the victory kids in drama with our monologues we have had some pretty good times lol and stop reading my mind you creep!! we think too much alike its kinda scary at times.....

Floyd!!! aka Brooke! im pretty much sure you are an amazing friend. you are a great listener and even though there is alot we dont agree on like music and politics i love ya kid!!!!! you should really take drama with me, and you know it!!

Elena!!! you are pretty much amazing. yep. if i could sing like you i would be pretty frickin pumped. you rock my socks mkay. i am pretty sure that you need to come hang out more and maybe one day we could actually watch an entire movie lol

ps to all my other friends reading this i love you too!!!!!!!!!!! i just had to draw a line somewhere and three seemed good :)